So, my baby was a week old and I needed a little project. I had seen these hip things in baby photos, so in my postpartum haze, I decided to dig out the crochet hook and some yarn from the garage. I was crocheting my little heart out and my kids were all…

“What IS that?”

I let them guess and well, it didn’t go so well.

I’m now doubting my fabulous (I learned in the 5th grade and haven’t learned anything new since) crochet skills.

Personally, I wanted to call it a uterus, but then the little ones started asking questions I wasn’t quite ready to answer so I settled on cocoon.

I found some instructions online but then realized I have no idea how to read a crochet pattern. But, if you crochet like a 5th grader like me, here are the instructions.

Chain about as long as fits around your newborn baby.
Crochet back in the first chain so it makes a circle.
Single stitch for maybe 12 rows and then when it looks right, start skipping stitches so it gets smaller. I started by skipping one every seven for a few rows and then one every 5 for a few rows. Etc.

I made it too shallow the first time and had to pull rows out, and I didn’t even cry about it.

(Only your baby’s backside will ever see the bottom of this so cheating is allowed. 🙂

Next, make sure your baby cooperates for the photo session. Mine didn’t get that memo, but I got one cute picture and have now retired the crochet hook for another 5 years. And, I think the uterus wants to be retired, too.